W Academy's Club for the Socially Unadept
by MysticalMyosotis
Summary: In which Feliciano and Lovino attempt to make friends by starting a club. GerIta, Spamano, Ameripan...
1. Chapter 1

**We're socially handicapped, so we'll start a club.**

Lovino slammed his head on the wall, annoyed.

"Not to say that this is the worst idea you've ever had, Feliciano, but..." He looked over to his brother. "This is the _shittiest idea ever._ "

Feliciano rolled his eyes, reluctantly tearing his eyes away from the computer. "Could you shut up for, like, _five minutes?_ I'm making out with my boyfriend." He looked back to the screen, not bothering to wipe the drool from his mouth. "Oh, _Ludwig_..."

Lovino growled, looking back to the door and kicking it. Why was his brother such a damn pervert?!

...well, its not like he was any better.

The two brothers, Lovino and Feliciano Vargas, were two of the most scariest people back in middle school. Lovino was a troublemaker - Always getting into fights and was a general asshole to everyone he laid eyes on, which naturally put people off. Feliciano, however, could've very well been mistaken for someone with a lot of friends. Smart, charming, and handsome, Feliciano could easily get what he wanted just by batting his eyelashes and striking a seductive pose. However, Feliciano was well known for stalking others, especially men. Back in 6th grade, he developed an unhealthy obsession with the school's SGA President, Ludwig Beilschmidt. It got to the point where he had a collection of Ludwig; photos, school supplies he had stolen from the German's backpack, and even his trash and leftover food adorned his room like decorations.

So, on a whim, Feliciano came up with the idea to start W Academy's Club for the Socially Unadept, where lonely people got together to try and create successful, fulfilling lives. The club's attendance, however, was lacking. No one came.

Feliciano sighed, closing the computer and massaging his brother's shoulders. "Lovi, you're so _stressed~!_ " He dragged him over to the plush red comforter, pushing him down and sitting in his lap. "Here, let your fratello help..." He started massaging his shoulders and sides, making the older loosen up.

" _U-Um_ , am I interrupting something?!" A rough German accent could be detected.

Both boys looked up, seeing a blonde, muscular man with a flyer crumpled up in his hand. Feliciano's eyes widened as he paled, immediately getting off of Lovino and coughing awkwardly. "I...um...well, you see..."

Lovino walked over to the German, grabbing him by the tie and pulling him close. "Ugh, how _disgusting._ " He grimaced. "You smell like sausages and beer." Ludwig blushed darkly, pushing him off and hiding his red blush in his hands. Feliciano backhanded Lovino, giving him a death glare.

" _Don't ruin this for me!_ " He hissed through his teeth, turning to Ludwig with a smile and pointing to the paper in his hand. "Is that one of our flyers?" Ludwig nodded, trying not to stare at Feliciano as his face got indisputably darker.

"Y-Yes. I'm here to inquire about your club and its purpose." He bit his lip. "Wait, no! That's not what I'm here for! I'm here to join the club!" He got onto his knees, bowing. " _Please let me join!_ "

"A potato bastard like you?! No wa-" Lovino's mouth was covered by Feliciano's hand, who kept a tight grip on his arm.

"We would love to have you!" Feliciano gave him a charming grin, hiding his true nature from his expertly.

Ludwig smiled shyly, getting up. "Y-You will?! _Danke!_ " He held out his hand for him to shake. "I-I'm Ludwig." Feliciano shook his hand vigorously, cherishing the moment. "Feliciano Vargas; nice to meet you!" He looked over to Lovino, who was pouting. "Oh, and that's just my brother."

Ludwig held out his hand for him to shake, before Lovino smacked it away. "Don't touch me!" Ludwig took a step back, teary eyed. "S-Sorry!" He whimpered.

" _Hola!_ Is this the right place?"

This time, a tan Spaniard walked into the club room, holding up his flyer and scratching his head. Lovino arched an eyebrow; this guy seemed a little too _normal_ to be normal. Snapping back into reality, he looked up to him with an icy stare and gave him a curt nod, before being shoved into the wall. "W-What the hell, bastardo?!"

"Are you single?!" The man asked hopefully. Lovino struggled in his grip with a feral snarl; not _one_ sane person showed up! "Let go of me, Spanish creep!"

The man realized what he was doing and let go. "Oh, where are my manners? Mi nombre es Antonio. And you are~?"

He growled, pushing him away. "Lovino, and I don't speak Spanish, you piece of _trash_."

"Oh, Lovi~" He whispered into his ear, nibbling the lobe. "You're _así luchadora._ I'm into that." Lovino gagged, pushing him away. "What do you want, pervert?!"

"Oh, right~!" He turned to the other two men, who were both paralyzed in shock. "I want to join your club!"

"No way in _hell_ , you _sad sack of shit_." Antonio whimpered in pleasure, looking up to the Italian lustfully. Lovino gave him an uppercut to the neck, kicking him to the floor. He gasped, moaning wantonly with a sick, perverted grin. "Lovi, _por favor_ , punch me again~! Make me _feel_ it!"

After hours of fighting - rather, Lovino fighting and Antonio achieving orgasm - Feliciano stopped them, and allowed Antonio into the club, much to Lovino's dislike.

An hour later, no one else showed up, so Feliciano started the meeting.

"Hello, fellow members!" He smiled at the three men; Ludwig was taking notes on Feliciano's presentation while Antonio continued to try and sneak inappropriate touches onto Romano. "We've all come here for the sole purpose of making friends. I'm positive that we'll soon be the most popular guys in school! Grazie for joining~!"

Ludwig clapped at the end; he seemed to be the only one with enough decency to pay attention.

 **This was a story from my Wattpad account, so please let me know if there are any errors. Reviews are greatly appreciated!**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Quick little Author's Note:**_

 _ **Woah. People actually reviewed. Thank you all! I'll be sure to update regularly.**_

 _ **Also, this fanfic, along with some oneshots I've made, are on Wattpad, so if you feel so inclined, go ahead and follow me on there; I'd really appreciate it! My username is MysticMyosotis.**_

 _ **With love,**_

 _ **MysticalMyosotis**_

 **We're socially inadequate, so we'll play otome games.**

Feliciano was blushing darkly as he gazed intently at the television, biting his lip in eager anticipation. The game controller shook in his hands as he watched the scandalous actions on the screen. His knees gave out and he eventually was laying on his chest. He saw Ludwig staring at him and the TV with a hot blush and swayed his hips seductively. "Like what you s- **OW! SHIT!"** Tomato juice dripped from his head as he turned to Lovino with a snarl. **"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"**

The Italian looked over to Feliciano, holding another tomato as a warning. "Quit being such a whore, Feli." He sighed. "You sound like the Spanish Bastard." Antonio heard him and pouted, resting his arms on the Italian's shoulders.

" _Mi pequeño tomate_ , you wound me so!" He said dramatically, before leaning down and whispering in his ear. "Besides, we all know what kind of games you have on your phone~" Lovino slapped him, face as red as his nickname. _"I said not to call me that!"_

Feliciano cleaned off the tomato, dragging Ludwig to the TV and sitting in his lap, thinking about how he felt like a muscular pillow as he held the remote up to him. "Wanna try? It's great practice for making friends!"

Ludwig looked away, obviously embarrassed. "D-Don't you think this is more for...you know, _romantic relationships?"_ The Italian shook his head. _"What?!_ No way! This is totally for making friends - Just try it!" He reset the game, watching the opening screen with Ludwig.

 _ **"Welcome to Yaoi Boys Academy 7~! Please enter your name below!"**_

"Yaoi Boys...?" Ludwig asked curiously, unfamiliar with the concept. He shrugged, entering his name and starting the game.

 _ **"Hello, Ludwig!...Oh, come on, you don't recognize me? It's Alfred!...Your best friend since childhood?"**_

Ludwig scoffed, ending the conversation. "I don't even know you. Are you trying to manipulate me, _'Alfred'_? If that's even your real name..." Feliciano chuckled nervously. "You're overthinking it a bit, Luddy."

As they continued playing, Lovino and Antonio sat down next to them, watching every mistake Ludwig made. He made a habit of being mean to every student, claiming himself to be _"tsundere"_ and that if they _"couldn't see his feelings, they weren't worth his time."_

Lovino rolled his eyes, before hearing the door creak open and looking over, seeing two eyes staring at them and screaming.

 _ **"T-THERE'S A MONSTER AT THE DOOR!"**_ He screeched.

Feliciano screamed falsely, using Lovino's cowardice to get close to Ludwig, hugging him tight. "Oh Luddy, I'm _scared~!_ " He whimpered, sniffing his hair with a perverted grin. Ludwig held him close, scared that someone was going to attack them. "S-Stay calm, Feli."

Antonio laughed cheerfully. " _Mi amigos_ , monsters don't exist!" He walked over to the door, about to open it. "You all are so parano-"

" _Give it back..._ " A raspy voice whispered, meeting Antonio's eyes from the door, the Spaniard letting out a girlish shriek and hiding behind Lovino.

The door opened slowly, showing a small Japanese boy about Feliciano's age. He wore the school's uniform, only rather than slacks he wore a short, red plaid skirt that went above his knees. He held a camera in his hands.

"Huh? It's a girl." Antonio said dumbly, earning a smack from Lovino. "It's a guy, _idiot!_ Use your brain for once!"

The Japanese boy pointed to the game on the screen. "That game. It's mine." He then pointed to Feliciano. "He took it and ran." Feliciano paled, looking to the floor, before he was pelted with another tomato. **"** _ **Owww!**_ **"**

Lovino removed the disk, much to the disappointment of Ludwig and Feliciano, who both whined softly. The older Italian rolled his eyes, handing the game to the boy. "I'm really sorry about my brother's behavior."

"D-Did he touch Alfred...?" He asked weakly, voice barely a whisper. Lovino looked confused, before Ludwig tensed up. "Um...vell..." He sighed. " _I kind of pushed him into a lake."_

The boy was silent for a moment, before tackling Ludwig. He clawed and bit at him like a savage, before being dragged up by Feliciano, who was enraged.

 **"Don't touch him, you ignorant sow."**

 ** _oooolinebreakoooo_**

The boys sat by the coffee table; Ludwig had made the Japanese boy a fruity confectionery and tea to apologize.

" _Watashi Kiku Honda._ " He took a sip of tea, turning on his phone and showing his lock screen; A picture of Alfred, who was shirtless. "This is my boyfriend, Alfred."

The club members shuffled awkwardly, weirded out by how attached Kiku was to the character. Feliciano gave the other a fake smile. " _R-Really?_ How long have you two been going out...?"

 _"3 years."_ He said simply, not noticing the false attitude in his grin. The group's faces went white, not sure on whether to be afraid of the boy or take pity on him.

"O-Oh." Feliciano bit his lip. "So, is that all you needed...?" Kiku shook his head, before bowing his head in shame. "I-I _really_ want to make friends..." Tears filled his eyes. "Alfred says I should have other relationships, so... _please let me join..."_

Feliciano was sobbing hysterically. "T-That's so _**sad!**_ Of course you can join!" He hugged Kiku tightly, sobbing onto his shoulder.

The other three just sat there, not daring to say a word.

 _ **Reviews are appreciated.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Thank you to everyone who reviewed! It really makes my day.**_

 _ **With love and cookies,**_

 _ **MysticalMyosotis**_

 **We're socially pathetic, so we'll try baking.**

Everyone in the club had at least one talent or hobby. Feliciano was a stellar artist, working in both realism and stylized art that could even put most experienced artists to shame. Lovino and Kiku were both computer nerds, which they were happy they could relate with. They had experience making computer games and websites, albeit Kiku's were either Yaoi Boys Academy fangames or weird hentai games. Antonio was a music prodigy underneath that masochistic exterior. He had skilled hands that he used to master any instrument he touched, as well as for _other things._

However, Ludwig's talent remained a mystery. Everyone believed he was a "Jack of All Trades" kind of person. He could do a lot of things decently, but he never really stood out for anything other than his good looks and SGA standing.

"Hey, Luddy!" Feliciano sat on the German's lap,wrapping his arms around his neck. Ludwig looked down to him, arching an eyebrow in question. "Ja, Feli?"

"What do you do for fun?" He asked. "Don't you have any hobbies?" Ludwig shifted a little when he felt Italy breath down his neck, trying not to seem rude. "U-Um, work is my hobby." He stuttered. The answer must've been displeasing to the Italian, because he pulled away with a pouty face. Ludwig sighed, looking down. ("Right at _Mi Fratello's_ crotch.", Lovino pointed out.) "I also occasionally bake..." He mumbled, face beet red.

"Luddy can bake?!" Feliciano's eyes gleamed in excitement. "Can you teach me?! Pretty please~? I'll be your best friend~!"

In truth, Feliciano couldn't care less about baking; he believed it to be messy, boring, and a waste of time. But one thing was certain - He _really_ liked Ludwig. He liked him so much to the point that he would use this opportunity to seduce him and possibly steal a few of his things for his collection.

Ludwig reluctantly agreed, before Antonio piped up. "Oye, I wanna learn too!" Feliciano glared at him, before forcing a smile. "S-Sure, Toni…" He hissed.

And so the club (Lovino and Kiku reluctantly agreed to join.) went to the kitchen, ready to bake cupcakes. However, Ludwig wasn't really the best instructor. Ludwig had a fetish for control, and it was taking its toll on Lovino, who ended up cursing him out in Italian. Feliciano figured out his fetish right away, and used it to its full potential. Playing innocent, the Italian would feign clumsiness to get touches and 'souvenirs' (hair, fingernails, and the like) from his escapades.

Kiku was having a fun time playing with the frosting with Alfred. He smothered chocolate frosting onto his laptop, claiming that it was Alfred's favorite flavor.

Lovino sighed, mixing ingredients into the bowl with Antonio. "Honestly, they're all so weird…" He grumbled indifferently. Antonio laughed, adding eggs to the mixture. "You think so? I think they're fun." He sighed happily, looking to Lovino. "I've never had friends before, so I can't really compare them to others, but they make me feel like I'm home. That's good, _sí?_ "

Lovino looked to his brother, the control freak German, the weeaboo trash and his boyfriend, and finally back to Antonio with a light smile. "Yeah, you're ri- _ **ACK!"**_

Antonio giggled, throwing some of the flour at him and feigning innocence. "Whoops~! _Lo siento, Mi Tomate~_ " Lovino pouted, scooping up some of the cake batter in his hands and chucking it at the Spaniard's face with a sly smile. _"Mi dispiace, Pomodoro Bastardo."_ The two soon got into a food fight, laughing like maniacs and getting the club caught into it, and a pile of cake mixture was soon thrown at the flirting Italian's face, making him huff in disapproval.

" _Damn you, Lovi."_

 _ **oooolinebreakoooo**_

Lovino and Antonio eventually walked home together, after being chewed out by Ludwig for their "lack of respect for the kitchen", to which Lovino replied "Well, at least I'm not **staring** at my brother's _**ass**_ all damn day!"

The grumpy Italian felt his cheek, which was swollen red. "It still hurts where he hit me…" He whined. Antonio chuckled, ruffling Lovino's hair. "Well, I hope it still hurts where I slapped him, too." Lovino bit his lip, before doing something unexpected.

Lovino giggled. It was soft and girly, like the tinkling of bells. Antonio blushed lightly, happy he could create such a precious moment.

They eventually reached The Vargas's house, which was small but comfortable and fit well into the neighborhood. Lovino looked over to Antonio, blushing lightly. "D-Don't tell anyone this happened, got it?!" Antonio chuckled and nodded, forcing Lovino into a hug and turning on his heel.

"Oh! _Mi Tomate!"_ He turned to him with a teasing grin.

" _ **You have a beautiful laugh."**_

 _ **oooooooooooo**_

 _ **Did I just add Spamano?**_

 _ **Yes.**_

 _ **Yes I did.**_

 _ **Reviews and likes are appreciated~!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**I feel like Jack Torrance; this story seems something akin to his masterpiece "All Work and No Play Makes Jack a Dull Boy".**_

 _ **All Stephen King puns aside, Halloween's coming up, so I thought I'd make a Halloween chapter.**_

 _ **Just a little update - If you're perhaps looking for a darker fanfiction, I have an ongoing Spamano series called Ikanaide, so you can check it out if you're into that!**_

 _ **With love and cookies,**_

 _ **MysticalMyosotis**_

 **We're socially disabled, so we'll watch horror movies.**

Kiku walked into the club room, adjusting his skirt with one hand and holding dvds in the other. " _Kon'nichiwa, min'na._ " He sat next to Feliciano, who was curled up next to Ludwig. Antonio and Lovino were on the other side, surprisingly letting Antonio wrap an arm around him. The Spaniard saw the movies and gasped, reaching for them.

"Horror movies!" Antonio beamed, sifting through them. " _Me encantan las películas de terror!_ " He showed them to Lovino, who was pale. " _H-Horror?!_ " He whimpered, knees going weak. Antonio laughed, hugging him tighter and leaning down next to his ear.

" _Aww, is Mi Tomate scared~?_ " He whispered seductively, nibbling his ear. "It's ok, Toni will protect you from the monsters…" Lovino shivered, pushing Antonio away. "Q-Quit it, Tomato Bastard!"

Their conversation was cut short by Feliciano; his eyes were lit up with excitement. "I love horror movies! We should watch them today! What do you think, Luddy?" Feliciano looked over to the beefy German, who nodded with a blank look on his face. Kiku smiled warmly, nodding. "Which one do you all want to watch?"

Antonio picked out The Shining, a pleading look on his face, akin to a puppy's. Feliciano nodded as Kiku put it in, starting the movie.

" **EW!** _ **CHE DIAVOLO?**_ " Lovino screeched, seeing the naked woman rotting around the end of the movie. He held onto Antonio's arm tightly, shaking in fear. Antonio laughed, petting the Italian's hair while avoiding his curl. "Shh...It's ok, Mi Tomate…" He mumbled, hugging him tight and smirking when Lovino buried his face into his chest.

Kiku held his phone tight, Alfred on his screen. The picture of Alfred had a scared look on its face, probably to express what the Japanese boy was feeling.

Ludwig was making noises that showed his confusion. He didn't quite get the movie. " _Redrum…?_ What's that supposed to mean…?" Feliciano pouted, hating the fact that he wasn't the center of Ludwig's attention. He'd punish him later for that. For now, though, he made do with some more hair samples.

Lovino heard the door creak open and screamed, throwing a tomato at the door. _**"CHIGIIIII!"**_ He whimpered, shaking and shivering as he held Antonio tighter. Antonio stood up, holding Lovino close to his chest as he walked over to the door, grabbing a bat that was conveniently on the side wall.

"Er, why do we have a bat in here?" Ludwig asked curiously. Feliciano shrugged. "I think this was a storage room a while back…"

Antonio stood in front of Lovino, ready to impress him. He opened the door and immediately met two red eyes, screeching and bashing the creature in the head with the baseball bat. Lovino cheered for Antonio, not noticing Ludwig coming up behind him with a whimper. "B-Bruder!" The two looked up to him, eyes wide.

" _ **B-Brother…?!"**_

….

The albino woke up on the couch, seeing his brother and some unfamiliar faces; Feliciano and Kiku were next to the German. Lovino and Antonio were sent into the newly established "Time Out" corner - made especially for tomato-throwing Italians and bat-bashing Spaniards.

"Gilbert!" Ludwig sighed in relief. "Are you alright?" The older man looked around, sitting up and rubbing his head with a groan. "Ow...West, what happened…?!" Ludwig sighed, giving Lovino and Antonio an icy glare. "They hit you with tomatoes and a baseball bat."

"Lo siento…" Antonio mumbled. Lovino pouted, looking away. "Whatever. He shouldn't have been such a damn creep…" He grumbled. Ludwig growled, hitting him upside the head with a newspaper. Lovino whimpered, looking up to him with a bigger frown. "I'm not a damn dog!" He spat.

Feliciano rolled his eyes, giving Gilbert a glass of water with a sympathetic smile. "Sorry. Lovi's just a bit insensitive." Gilbert blushed darkly, taking the water and mumbling a thank you. Feliciano sat next to him, smiling brighter. "I'm Feliciano Vargas. Do you go to this school?"

Gilbert nodded, face red. "J-Ja! I'm a senior." His eyes suddenly widened. "Oh, right! West, I came looking for Gilbird. You see him anywhere?" Ludwig nodded, taking the sleeping bird out of his pocket. The fluffy, yellow bird woke up and flew over to the albino, sitting on his shoulder. Gilbert smiled warmly, standing up. "Thanks, bro. Um...what is this place anyway? You aren't a harem leader, are you…?"

" _ **B-BRUDER!"**_

Feliciano giggled. "Actually, this is a club." Gilbert gasped, smiling brightly. "Well then, I am officially a member of the club! No ifs or buts! I won't take no for an answe- _ **OW! SCHEISSE!**_ " He looked over to Antonio, who had hit him with the bat again. "What was that for, you ass?!" He hissed.

"Accident or not, you still scared _Mi Tomate._ " Antonio hissed. "This will not be forgive-" He was suddenly silenced by Lovino's lips, who kissed him gently while holding a thumbs up to Gilbert behind Antonio's back. He pulled away slowly, biting his lip with a light blush. "P-Please don't be mad at him, Toni…" Antonio's face lit up like a Christmas tree as he nodded feverishly, following Lovino out like a lost puppy.

Gilbert arched an eyebrow, confused. "Um…" Ludwig and Feliciano blushed lightly, seeing the photos Kiku had taken. The Japanese boy smirked, running to the computer to photoshop the pictures.

 _ **REVIEWS ARE APPRECIATED!**_


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